Marriage is simply a union between two people in love. Traditionally the word alludes to heterosexual couples, with most homosexual couples preferring the term partnership.
The earliest documented marital laws dated back to at least Mesopotamian times, and we can draw forth a conjecture that along with it the concept of a marriage proposal also evolved similarly.
But what is a proposal? Merriam-Webster defines a proposal as,
“2 a : something proposed : suggestion
b : offer; specifically : an offer of marriage”
Of course marriage proposals varies dramatically from culture to culture, ever changing along with the times. There are of course accepted traditional forms of proposal that changed very little in the course of the centuries within a specific culture.
Even a small nation like Singapore has its own unique flavour of marriage proposal styles. Being multi-racial and all, encompassing of other cultures and with our local idiosyncrasies, you would be surprised to learn just how much local flavour you can inject into a marriage proposal.
Here are some tips on how to enhance your proposal with the Singaporean flair.
Sing A Song Of Sixpence
Kbox is one of many destinations popular among many Singaporeans. What better way to put your S.O in the mood by picking out a list of the most cheesy and romantic songs? Croon like you are Dick Lee and pop the question when she is swooning, or rather cringing from your efforts.
希望你能陪我到海角到天涯
就算一切从来我也不会改变决定
我选择了你，你选择了我
这是我们的选择
爱美你可以嫁给我吗？
Did You Hear That?
One way of showing of your undying and eternal love for your partner is to call into a radio station when they open out the lines for dedications. One of the most popular local channels is of course Class 95, with the Love Songs segment every night.
It might take some time and effort to be able to get through to the station, and you must make sure your partner is actually listening to the said station at that moment. You don’t want to gush out your mushy proposal only to have her listening to Yes933 instead right?
“I want to dedicate this next song to my girlfren Ah Swee. And also I want to ask her if she wants to marry me. Ah Swee will you marry me?”
Are You Hungry?
Ye olde cliché method always works! While enjoying a lormantic dinner at the downstairs kopi diam, distract her momentarily before dropping your Goldheart ring into her bowl of ice-kachang.
Insist on feeding her as a form of romantic gesture though actually you are just making sure that she doesn’t swallow the ring by mistake!
“Ah Swee can marry me or not?”
The Pen Is Mightier Than The Sword
Shakespeare and Byron certainly knew what they were doing when they composed some of the best and classic known plays and prose.
To show off your love and to make your proposal a slightly special one, placed an advertisement in the papers! To ensure maximum coverage to most cheapskate Singaporeans, advertise in those freebie papers they give out for free at most MRT stations.
“ Ah Swee, will you do me the honours of becoming my wife?”
Water Is The Basis Of Life
Suntec City’s Fountain of Wealth was a rather popular “sightseeing” spot back in the 1990s. Scores of tourists, families, incorrigible gamblers, and even couples, flocked to the site to watch the nightly laser show and also to bathe in the ambience of the “wealth”.
The personnel working at Fountain console does take in song dedications and other special request. Simply pay the required fee to have your very own marriage proposal in laser show beamed out to your giggling partner!
“Ah Swee my beloved will you marry me?”
Dun Play Play Ah!
Once again, affluent Singaporeans with plenty of spare dough to throw about can hire a common peon to handle their proposal. What better way to show your love and patriotism than our very own Phua Chu Kang?!
That’s right! Hire our iconic Ah Beng plumber to rap out a proposal to your S.O. To further seal the deal, hire Rosie too as she raps beside her husband, showing that behind every chao ah beng, there is an ah lian supporting.
“ Eh Swee Ah Swee!
Now, if only you must heed my plea
When I go on a bended knee
Hoping that my bor you will be
When I ask “Will you mare-wee me?”
The Patriotic
What better way to show that you are a true blue Singaporean than the pristine white Merlion vomiting just outside Fullerton? Plan your day wisely, culminating the trip right before the foot of the piscean-feline.
Reach from within the magic bag(do not ask Yours Truly how is the person going to manage a big ungainly bag the whole time without arousing suspicion!), and present a bouquet of beautiful Vanda Miss Joaquim and begin your declaration of love and intention!
“ Dearest Ah Swee, daughter of Ah Hiao and Ah Seng, will you marry me?”
The Loudspeaker
In Singapore, it’s all about delegation and classes. Why bother doing the proposal yourself when you can hire someone to do it for you?!
Hire last year’s Nation day parade commander and have him shout out the proposal right from the Padang as you charm the knickers off her with a romantic picnic.
“ AH SWEE WILL YOU MARRY ME????? KE KANAN PUSING!!!!!! OOPS SORRY!!”
The Sky’s The Limit
In case your S.O. is the elusive sort, or you are simply not sure if the answer is a definite yes, corner her in the confines of the cable car or Singapore Flyer! You can be sure there’s no escape from there!!!!!
Before you bash the idea, bear in mind that it is romantic in a sense to be up in the skies with a surrounding panoramic view. Yours Truly is confident that she would be scared shitless to say no to your sneaky proposal.
Especially if she is an acrophobic, you bastard!
“Ah Swee!! Dun scared!! Marry me leh!!!”
Home Sweet Home
It is a sad known fact in Singapore that no singles below the age of 35 is allowed to purchase a HDB flat. However this seemingly accursed law might just be a blessing in disguise.
Why?
Because there would be NO need for lengthy intense courtship to get into the mood! No need an expensive platinum ring from Lee Hwa. And definitely you don’t need even a stalk of rose.
“ Oei Ah Swee, wanna share share apply for HDB together or not??”
Please note that Yours Truly take no responsibility whether if the above methods listed will result in any minor or serious injuries. Yours Truly however will take credit should any of the methods do actually work, and would take the firstborn child as payment.
So now… anyone wants to offer Yours Truly a marriage proposal? I’m very single and available you know?
